What's your favorite film? I'm thinking personally here that I genuinely may have too many to mention and covering all sort of genres; from black and white Hitchcock classics, Grease, the odd Western to edge of the seat thrillers and a good Hammer Horror and despite being a big fan of some of the most renowned writters and their works I do have to once again admit to another guilty pleasure of mine – I am quite a sucker for a romcom! Philistine I hear you cry, but let’s face it sometimes you just want the fluffy, happy to turn on, tune in, drop out and they all lived happily ever after instead of the hard, gritty tear jerking, heart wrencher which make you question the state of the world – no, I definitely enjoy anything with more than a passing nod towards Mills & Boons as much as any Austen novel; for feel good factor these little celluloid marshmallows do the job intended to a tee!
When you think about it, aren’t they in reality just the 'Hygge' of the film industry? Fluffy socks and hot choc in front of a fire on a cold winter’s day kind of warms the cockles Hygge! So you wouldn't expect one of my deepest and most significantly poignant of life’s light bulb moments to have been inspired by a scene from a film from such a genre and to be fair possibly one of the most frivolous films of that genre at the time too… "The Runaway Bride". Just one scene in this 1999 box-office hit struck me so hard and awoke an understanding of some personal flaws which I had previously never even considered, which needed serious work in order for me to be happier with myself for myself. It was incredulously a rather short twee getting to know you comedy scene rather than a mind-blowing, deep insight into life but hell it worked for me. Do you remember the film, the one where Richard Gere and Julia Roberts are romantically reunited following their brilliantly received Pretty Woman nine years before?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not belittling the film when I say its light and fluffy - it basically does what it says on the tin but "A Theory of Everything" it most certainly is not and does not pretend to be! It does in my humble opinion though have an interesting and decent story line, cleverly written script, is well-acted and certainly with more than one food for thought moment in the life lessons department. The story in a nutshell is of a ditsy but loveable small town girl from Maryland called Maggie (Roberts) with a disastrous love life due to her fear of commitment which sees her running off from three of her grooms and intended nuptials - enter the suave, handsome but slightly jaded journalist Ike (Gere) who is more than certainly with a foot in the last chance saloon with his editor who just happens to be his friend and ex-wife played brilliantly by the wonderful Rita Wilson - he is on the lookout for a knockout story and could this just be it? In a last ditch attempt to save his ailing career he hits town to report on her upcoming fourth attempt at getting down the aisle, during which he's convinced she'll run again. Though he's there on a muck raking mission and cynically hoping to see the bride bolt, Ike in spending time and getting to know the enchanting Maggie 'the runaway bride' we aren't at all disappointed when surprise surprise as of course he can't help but fall for this breathtaking heart breaker.
Before we get to the point and I try to recreate the said scene in your mind’s eye; for the benefit of those who have not seen the movie let me first pose a question, have you ever been so into someone be it a friend, work colleague, peer, sibling, love interest or anyone you respect and look up to so much that you try to emulate their behaviour, likes and desires – what would probably be described in psychiatric circles as mirroring. They like a band, you find you like the same band. They have a dress style which also quickly becomes yours. Their hobbies become your interests too and so on and so forth……do this subconsciously for long enough and soon you pretty much lose your own sense of self if to be honest you ever had it in the first place, which with the benefit of hindsight i think I can safely say I'm speaking here from personal experience, you find yourself doing it more than once over the course of your life and suddenly this becomes your way, only it's not is it as your not being true to you. Lack of self-belief and confidence can often make others' decisions and tastes seem more on point than your own.
So back to this Hallelujah inducing film scene! Picture it as Gere and Roberts are in the kitchen in full flirt mode and having become more than a little smitten, Ike questions Maggie's' life decisions and mostly her choice of men and consequently her behaviour around said men…in short, he insists she always becomes their muse and not their partner or equal. Rather than them getting to know and love her for who she is, she becomes what they want and need which is not being true to herself hence the constant cold feet and bolting when the weddings eventually become reality. Bring on the denial and vehement defensiveness and so, and in my mind this is the genius bit!! In light of this Ike asks her a simple question…How do you like your eggs? Huh? I know right….? What the actual F…....I’ll explain, again only for you cultured lot who may not dabble in the rose coloured world of romcoms. Her taste of eggs changes in every relationship to whatever favourite the current beau or fiance has and when asked the question she realises she cannot answer as she doesn’t know. To this he cooks her a long line of egg dishes to try so that she can find which is her dish of choice, he is basically telling her in order to love and be fully loved you have to know yourself and not simply echo or mirror! DING! And then it hit me ….I had no idea how I liked my eggs! Ha, in fact I find I like them hatched and breathing so eventually became vegan; but my point is and what I do know though is what I took away from this scene was that the decision is mine to make and mine alone - whether i prefer poached or scrambled or all of them or as in my own case none of them. It’s left quite a lasting impression and along with other influences gave me the strength to say this is what I like & believe and so what of it world; when I find myself questioning things in my life at times. from judgments and important calls to simple things such as which glass of wine I prefer and whether I genuinely like something or is it because it’s considered cool, vogue and of the moment or is it that someone I love likes it - but the point is this, whether I can decide what I like or not is irrelevant it’s that I can admit that I don’t have to know or agree with the masses or anyone, even a best friend or significant other to please them or keep the peace, I please me - you do you. So naturally I have a question for you….. How do you like YOUR eggs??
