Ima say it out loud - oh my days I miss alcohol! One of the saddest symptoms gifted to me by chronic fatigue is unfortunately an alcohol intolerance; of all the things to bestow on me eh, what a kick to the guts this one is! Granted being the stubborn mule that I am, I have been heard to say "sod it life's too short" at times and nudge the boundaries while paying dearly for days after, but on the whole 2 glasses these days is enough to make me feel like I've fallen into a vat from a great height. Apart from pushing the boat out on social occasions, when social distancing rules allow of course (the boat in my case being the Titanic - drama queen that I am) it just isn't worth the payback. Don't get me wrong I was neither a heavy or lone drinker, no, on the contrary I consider myself more to be quite the 'bon viveur' who enjoys the good things, one of them being a good bottle of red wine as an accompaniment to the delectations of life. A nice Cabernet Sauvignon Shiraz goes down well does it not? be it with a good film, friends or even as a companion to one of those self-care baths with plenty of bubbles and candles - oh, come on we've all been there; and if you haven't you really should, Mindfulness in fact insists you do 😉.
Alas gone are the nightcaps, one or two to unwind during the evening before bed, a nice bottle in the garden with a book on a nice day off or a cheeky glug at the beach - no, I now save my only couple per week for the weekend and even then it has to be interluded with plenty of H20 and with an empty diary for the following few days, two glasses alone and I cannot begin to tell you how I truly suffer. It's rather different to a hangover but just as tiresome - with the kind of headache that feels as if your head is splitting in two, palpitations, dizziness and a vice like grip in the chest, heavy and aching limbs, brain fog and the killer sting being a serious compounding for days of my already constant fatigue. Thankfully the nausea is not present every time! Makes sense therefore that anyone of sound mind would take the hint and avoid at all costs right.
It's not all dire though, I can drink endless Gin and a decent volume of beer when called upon, I just don't want to - that said, with a long overdue festival in September I may be testing this theory - Covid allowing of course, watch this space.
OH, but red wine is/was one of my best friends, my soulmate, we've just been through so much together. Seen good and bad times and it has always been there for me when I needed it - my confidant, the amount of angst a decent red has soothed over the years in my life cannot be measured. I feel as though I should be apologising to all red wine vintners the world over and saying it's really not you, it's me. So moderation is now the future for me, I jest you not when I say those who know me well will confirm that moderation and my name do not tend to fit well in a sentence together.
I do joke of it being likened to a greek tragedy, I so enjoy a drama don't I! The reality is that daily life is already a struggle and I need to look after myself and looking on the bright side, silver linings and all that maybe, just maybe developing an alcohol intolerance will be quite beneficial healthwise in the long run, a few more years of decent quality of life in the tank as it where. That said however I don't think I will be thanking chronic fatigue anytime soon, do you...Janj X
